Barnard College's Monthly Magazine
Welcome to 2012, sluts! I hope everyone’s winter break was happy, relaxing, and full of great sex.
ALEXA – My Resolution for 2012 is to not have sex the first night that I meet someone. Perhaps this seems anti-YOTS at first glance, but just as a refresher: YOTS is about having the confidence to do what’s right for you. I’ve had a lot of first nights in the past, and I’m cur- rently interested in what I might discover after the first night.
Laura and I were lucky enough to stumble down to Curacao and into a resort filled with law-school students, where we found love. . . or at least, lust… for the week. Picture a liquored- up dinner date overlooking the Caribbean shoreline, ending with hours in a hot tub and a furtive dash back to the hotel room as the sun is coming up while trying to avoid seeing my rise-at-dawn parents who also happened to be staying at the resort*. Scandalous! The guy was sweet, although for many reasons not someone I would ever consider dating in my real life. Our fling’s definite expiration date al- lowed me to enjoy his company free of over- analysis. And for the record: we didn’t have sex until the second night he took me out, January 3. New Year’s Resolution: still going strong.
And now it’s Valentine’s Day! I love Valen- tine’s Day. I think single people hold too many preconceptions about the holiday, on both ends of the cliché spectrum. Some wallow in the “sadness” of being single and feel disappointed and sorry for themselves, and others hate really hard on February 14th while watching horror movies and dissing Hallmark. I implore you all to approach this V-Day with a new attitude. Embrace the happiness in the air, feel the high from all the sugary treats, and break open a bottle of champagne for yourself. It’s meant to be a fun, light-hearted day; let it be just that!
In anticipation of the big day and fueled by YOTS optimism, Laura and I bought tickets to a pre-V-day mixer, replete with an open bar, a comedy show, and the promise of guys. This article was due before the mixer, but be sure to tune in next month to see how my first time at a singles event turned out…
Ready… set… get some!
*I have a good relationship with my parents. They knew where I was and who I was with, as did Laura. Don’t be stupid on vacation, k? You know better. That being said, I still don’t need to see my parents as I’m embarking on a walk of shame.
LAURA – Welcome to the second annual Year of the Slut! I am so excited and optimistic about the year to come. (Yes, that pun was intended. I regret it already.) If this is your first time read- ing this column, “Year of the Slut”—or YOTS for short—is where my best friend Alexa and I get to tell you about our dating experiences and sex lives as single college girls in NYC. As seasoned ambassadors in the field of love, we hope you’ll enjoy our stories and maybe learn a little something too*.
As Alexa shared in her column, we started 2012 off right on the beautiful island of Cu- racao, where we reveled in our R&R and even nabbed ourselves two amazing vacation boy- friends. I met an adorable, self-described “real cowboy” who swept me off my feet and into the hot tub, the shower, the bed…Oh my! (Seri- ously. The sex was awesome. And surprisingly intimate—he loved to cuddle!)
In our real lives, Vacation Boyfriend lives in LA and I’m here in NYC, so the expiration date on our fling coincided with our plane flights to opposite coasts.** In our temporary romance, there were no expectations for the future, no stressful relationship conversations, no jeal- ousy, and no drama. In the few days that we spent together, I could fully live in the moment and just enjoy myself.
While it may be impossible to live constantly in the Now (á la Eckhart Tolle), having a va- cation boyfriend reminded me of how much easier it is to be happy when you focus on your present instead of dwelling on your past or worrying about your future. If you are cur- rently seeing someone, forget about where the relationship is going; instead, appreciate all of the fun (sex) you are having now. And if you have chosen to be single—like me—focus on YOTSing as much as possible. It is a new se- mester and the weather is getting warmer, so embrace the fact that you are young and single and living in the best city in the world! Valen- tine’s Day is here and love is in the air (read what Alexa had to say about this great holi- day), so challenge yourself by doing something spontaneous in the name of YOTS, like asking your crush to hang out, or giving your go-to drunk dial a call when you are sober! Alexa and I are going to a pre-Valentine’s Day singles party (it was a Groupon!) and we will definitely be YOTSing our pants off (you should know by now that I mean that literally).
*See our first column in the October 2011 issue of the Bulletin to read the YOTS Constitution
** He may be/actually is flying to New York to visit me for a long weekend this month. So much for temporary! Yes, I’m excited about it. Yes, I’m also completely freaking out. I’ll let you know how it goes!